You know?
You make me loose my faith again and again,
When I forgive you again and again,
Only to let you hurt me again and again.
What in this big big world make me fall in love with you that much?
Yes,
I still remember everything,
All so vivid in my mind.
And yes,
I took it seriously,
Really, really seriously.
You said you wanted to keep it secret.
You said it was only you and me.
I asked you why,
You didn't explain.
I didn't understand,
So I told a friend.
Now, when I think back,
I finally understand,
The answer was so obvious,
Yet I didn't see it back then.
T R U S T
Simple, yeah?
Yet so complicated...
You didn't trust me back then, did you?
You didn't even trust YOURSELF, did you?
You didn't trust me,
That's why you said you wanted to keep it secret,
You didn't put your trust in that relationship.
You didn't trust yourself,
That's why you said "Sedikit"
You didn't trust yourself to love more then that.
For me,
It's a completely different case.
I trusted my friend,
So I told her.
I trusted you,
So I put my heart in and took it seriously.
But,
Oh well,
Looks like I trusted the wrong person.
She misused my trust,
And confronted you.
But she meant me well,
I don't blame her.
But then, that was when it ended,
That was when EVERYTHING ended.
My trust,
Thrown away like a piece of useless rubbish,
My heart,
Broken into a thousand tiny pieces.
Maybe we weren't ready for true love back then.
Maybe I was my fault it ended,
Maybe it was yours.
All the same,
It ended.
But I never stopped loving you.
Yes,
I never stopped.
Recently,
I heard rumors.
You and HER.
That broke my heart for the second time.
It shook my ground and my wall crumbled.
My friends are telling me your not worth the wait.
They're telling me I fell in love with a big, fat, stupid jerk.
They said I should give up.
And for the first time in such a long while,
I felt tired,
Exhausted,
I actually wanted to stop,
I wanted to give up everything,
To move on,
And to forget.
My body went berserk.
My mind was telling me:
He's not worth it.
It's not like you didn't give him any chances.
You did,
But he didn't treasure them.
So it's perfectly reasonable to give up on him.
After all,
He's not like the only guy in the whole universe.
My empty broken heart was telling me:
You KNOW you love him.
You KNOW you can't give up, not now.
You KNOW he's worth the wait.
You KNOW you can't bring yourself to forget about him.
And you KNOW even though he's not the only guy the the universe,
He's the only one who matters.
So why are you feeling so messed up?
The answer is obvious.
You loved him before,
You love him now,
And you know you will continue to love him.
No matter how many times you tell yourself you don't,
You know you do.
That is just about ow much destruction you can bring me.
And that's a lot.
I was torn apart.
Okay,
So I knew that one day you would fancy some girl.
But I never ever even dreamed that it would be HER.
How could it be HER?
You couldn't be serious, could you?
How I wish I never told anybody at all.
Nobody at all.
Then maybe everything would be different.
Maybe now,
I wouldn't be typing this post.
Maybe now,
I'll be happily dreaming of you,
Not typing this heart-breaking post.
If only...
And I'll go back in time and change it,
But I can't.
-
Quoted from Taylor Swift - Back to December.
